Five times John Sheppard faked I never see it coming
by SamanthaKathy
Summary: Five times John Sheppard faked 'I never see it coming" and how it ended up getting him his man. John Sheppard/Rodney McKay


**Author's note: originally published 18 August 2011 on AO3. It was written as a reply to a prompt on the Pentangular Gate community over on LJ.**

SGASGASGA

1.

It had not even been a week after the clusterfuck with Chaya when John, off world again with his team, drew the attention of the chieftain's daughter. In the morning, it started out with subtle flirting that was easy to ignore and brush off as nothing special. Rodney missed it completely. In the afternoon, her flirting became less and less subtle, and Rodney became more and more irritated. John completely ignored it all, pretending he didn't notice and if he did, he sure didn't see anything in it other than friendship. After the evening meal, the chieftain's daughter bluntly asked him to share her bed that night. John tactfully rejected her and retired with a fuming Rodney to the room they were sharing.

"I swear to God, I never see things like that coming! Did you notice anything before she just asked that?" John said.

"You didn't notice her interest in you? Seriously? Don't you have eyes or something?!" Rodney exclaimed, but John noticed his crabbiness had disappeared.

Sometimes faking ignorance was best.

2.

After Rodney and Cadman were separated again, John secluded himself in his office. It took half an hour before he stopped shaking, because this time, he had been far too close to losing Rodney, again. He had no idea if he could go on like this for much longer, but also knew he didn't have a choice. That was made perfectly clear to him the next day, when he overheard Cadman and Carson in the infirmary. He hadn't meant to eavesdrop on their conversation, but the moment he heard Rodney's name mentioned, he had no choice but to listen in.

"So you're the one who asked me to come on Rodney's date with Katie?" Carson asked.

John didn't hear much more than that, for in that moment he felt like his heart was ripped out of him. Big talk from Rodney about hot blonds with big IQ's he could handle, after all, talk was just that. He should know, he was used to blowing smokescreens. But a date, a genuine, honest to God date, one he didn't even knew about. That hurt.

When Rodney told him about his date with Katie three days later, even asking for his advice for the next one, he said the only thing he could: "I never saw it coming. Good for you."

3.

John had always observed Rodney, ever since he met the man in Antarctica. And since Rodney and Katie had become an item, he observed her too. Which is why he saw that Rodney was on his best behavior during their initial courtship. It was also why he saw Rodney losing the fight to stay as nice and considerate as he was in the beginning.

To be quite honest, it surprised John that Katie ever believed Rodney to be nice and sweet and considerate, all her words. Sure, Rodney could be all those things, but it was usually covered up with a big mouth, sharp tongue, and a lot of hand waving and general snark. And John liked Rodney's snark. However, Katie, it seemed, didn't like snark at all, and least of all Rodney's. So truly, it came as no surprise to John that the relationship blew up when Rodney had had a very, very bad day and snarked at Katie instead of swallowing down on whatever nasty things he wanted to say.

So, instead of being with Katie after his very, very bad day, Rodney was pacing in John's room, hands waving, pouring out words which were almost all shouted, contained swear words that would make a marine blush, and lots and lots of snark. Exactly how John liked Rodney. He was, however, very aware that Rodney would not be pleased if John even hinted at having expected the relationship to fail. So John lied through his teeth.

"No, Rodney, I didn't expect her to just dump you like that. But honestly, I never see that kind of thing coming."

4.

John stood on the balcony of Elizabeth's office, Elizabeth at his side. The silence between them was usually easy, the two of them drawing strength from each other before they went back and presented strong leaders to the people in the city. Today, the silence was anything but easy.

"You do realize that your team has the highest capture and injury rate of all Atlantis teams, John," Elizabeth said. "Surely there must be a reason for that."

Yes, and the reason's name was Rodney, who had the extraordinary ability to not only have no tact at all, but to also demonstrate that at the most inopportune moments. John could usually pinpoint with terrifying accuracy when Rodney tipped the scales from 'slightly paranoid/scared/might be mean aliens' to 'we're going to kill you aliens'. But to tell Elizabeth that would be to have Rodney pulled from his team.

"Maybe there is, but if there is a reason, I haven't found it yet. Bad luck, maybe, or maybe we just get the most dangerous missions. Whatever the reason is, I never see it coming until it's happening."

5.

At first, John thought he was imagining things. After all, Rodney had dated Katie Brown, who was most definitely a woman, and had never shown any interest in a man. Still, it looked like Rodney was trying to flirt with him. The mission to PX5-773 made it clear to John that no, he was not imagining things, Rodney was indeed flirting. Teyla, Ronon and even the natives got the message too, but then, how could they not with the way Rodney was acting?

Still, it took four more missions of blatant flirting, and two weeks of amusement before Rodney made his move. He'd shown up at John's door with a Batman movie and the two of them had ended up side by side on the bed watching it. Half-way through the movie, Rodney was plastered to John's side. After fifteen minutes of this, Rodney said 'oh, for heaven's sake' and kissed him.

The next morning, John woke up next to a very awake Rodney. Who was watching him with undisguised glee. John couldn't help but smile at Rodney's obvious joy.

"You know, I always suspected you were lying when you said you never noticed anyone flirting with you," Rodney said, then let out a breathy chuckle that send shivers down John's spine. "But I guess you really don't see it coming, you didn't even make a move until I threw myself at you."

Rodney had started to stroke John's chest and John suspected that the touch would instantly stop if he admitted to noticing Rodney's flirting. There really was only one correct answer in this situation.

"Nope, I never see it coming."


End file.
